Persistent Surprise

This has been one crappy Lent, in case that hasn't come across in my pessimistic blogs. I am constantly overwhelmed with classes and I haven't even finished two weeks of this new semester, I am running worse in track than I did my first year in high school, and I now have the stomach flu. But that doesn't matter to God, cause lets face it in the grand scheme of things what does it matter if I lose a few hours of sleep or lose a few lunches (I won't go into any more detail - don't worry). And in this grand scheme of things God doesn't care that I am a blip, a speck, a nothing in this immense eternity, He cares about me and He has been very persistent throughout this crappy Lent to show me, how much He cares. Today was Tuesday and therefore we had Proclaim, the student led worship service, and Chaplin Brian spoke and gave communion. That could have been the surprise, but I guess I needed more. Before communion we got into groups and held hands and prayed the Lord's prayer. I got out "Our Father" when I realized I hadn't said the Lord's prayer in over two months, then I realized that I hadn't had communion in over two months, then I realized how hungry I was. The Lord's prayer has never been so hard to say, and has never seemed so heavy. Every word had weight, every word had meaning, had a promise, had a consequence. I was taken aback by this because I know the Lord's prayer, I've been saying it since Sunday school and two months, two months were what I needed to realize its power. Two months of questioning and feeling lost to realize that the bread, the body, the wine, and the blood are what I need to survive. So this maybe the crappiest Lent I've ever been through, maybe it will be the crappiest Lent of my life, but that doesn't stop God. He's darn persistent, and He won't stop showing me all the ways I need Him, not even when this Lent is over, not even when I stop asking for surprises because God is consistently and persistently a surprise.

-Kate